When you are disturbed, do not sin.
Ponder it on your bed, remain silent.
Offer the right sacrifices, and put your trust in God.

– Psalm 4

is feeling insecure again

Lord, I am feeling insecure again. Do I try too hard to engage my students? How much is too much? How do I know I am going overboard? Lord, can you protect my heart? Make it pure, like your intention. Make me sing your song and march to only your beat.

I am a bad judge of my actions, only you can help me.

The Human Machine

Writing book reviews could be a great way to improve my writing, eh?

Slow as I am, I’m convinced the game is not over. Better late than never, they say. 

I came across this book review which intensely piqued my interest. It was the only compelling argument for head over heart that I’ve read. Few other publications came close. 

Hands down and white flags up, I am most definitely a creature of my emotions. From 0 to 26 years old I count being able to feel deeply among my greatest strengths. Between 26 and where I find myself now, setbacks I’ve encountered mostly pointed out to me how weak my brain was. Invariably my natural reaction to stress would be to succumb to temptations, indulge in my fantasies, or allow my rage to overpower me. I find myself at the wrong end of the scale, and I’m now scrambling to regain a semblance of balance. 

Not that a mere semblance is good enough for me. I want to fake it till i make it. 

I’m hitting Kinokuniya on Friday to grab a copy of that antidote for an ill-disciplined mind like mine.

I have power to maintain my own calm, and I will. No earthly being can force me to be false to my principles, or to be blind to the beauty of the universe, or to be gloomy, or to be irritable, or to complain against my lot. For these things depend on the brain; cheerfulness, kindliness, and honest thinking are all within the department of the brain. The disciplined brain can accomplish them. And my brain is disciplined, and I will discipline it more and more as the days pass.